A new monthly check in of what I am up to, my likes and my recommendations.
Intro
I have been ignoring my substack for months. I felt like I had too much to write but no idea how to start. But after a therapy / coaching session I feel invigorated with new purpose and the creative juices started flowing.
This is the start of being consistent by providing you with a look into my month.
Wellbeing
Let’s start heavy - how you doin’? How am I doin’?
This month, as that very normal and standard question has been asked of me I have really struggled to answer it. The answer I always give is “fine, yeah fine” because the true answer is much more complicated.
I am fine, like on the surface. But deeper, in my gut, in my soul, I do not feel fine. I feel lost, I feel selfish, I feel angry, I feel frustrated, I feel scared, I feel happy, I feel excited, I feel a sense of wanting more. And then I feel guilty for wanting more.
Since recovering from Binge Eating Disorder, I find I feel a lot more. I used my eating habits as a coping mechanism to stop feeling as I didn’t know how to process or regulate these emotions in a non-destructive way. But now I have changed my relationship with food and eating - I think I am still learning how to regulate. I feel everything all the time, all at once. I am quick to cry, I am quick to frustration, I am quick to forgetting that rage I was just feeling because I remembered something fun.
It’s something I need to work on, which I feel shame that I am still learning this at 34 years old. But that’s how I feel when you have asked me “how are you doin’?” this month. But its much easier to just say “yeah - fine”.
Fashion
I got these shoes off Vinted from SimplyBe and they are the most perfect 90s mule with the deep band. Not too high, padded sole. They are still on SimplyBe (aff link) and I have since bought them in brown!
Make Up
Lip tints have been my saviour. I am naturally not doing full beats in the heatwaves but I still want something, and I find the Wonderskin lip tints (aff link) are perfect for keeping a colour all day and you don’t have to worry about sweating it off, accidently wiping it off or it coming off due to all the water you are drinking.
Skin Care
I have been using Saltair deodorant (aff link) as I read it was good to brighten up your arm pits and as much as I didn’t take a before picture, I do think this is working. I also love the scent!
Cinema
Top pick this month is The Invite. Written and directed by Olivia Wilde. What a film. If you like a claustrophobic, naked look at loveless marriages then this is for you. Everyone is acting their asses of but my gold star would be for Wilde - her energy I found so legit. The apartment is such good interior design porn. Give it to me!
Podcast
I have been recommending Everything is Fake (and Nobody Cares) by Jamie Bartlett to anyone who will listen. A fascinating look into where our relationship with the truth has crumbled and why integrity and the truth is no longer high on the priority list when it comes to people we have given great powers of influence too.
Documentary
A late month entry but Toxic Love Story on Netflix is that girl. A documentary that makes you clap your hands and say “that’s all she wrote” to realise there is a whole 45 mins left to go!
Comfort TV Show
Currently watching Friends. First time in a few years. I loathe Ross so much. Chandler is less funny this time round and Joey is funnier to me than ever before! My queens; Monica, Phoebe and Rachel can never do anything wrong. But Rachel needs to cut it out with Ross - gross.
Game
007: First Light (aff link) was a banger. If you like Uncharted then you will like this. A linear campaign as a young James Bond where you charm your way into restricted areas, beat up a load of bad guys and ultimately save the world from a tech billionaire who has been covering up his AI from its mistakes by killing people - what more could a girl want!
YouTube Channel
I adore a film analysis YouTube channel. I particularly enjoy it when its from a female lens. Girl on Film is such a fab channel and Rachel’s insights are so interesting and succinct. Her episode on the Scream franchise this month is well worth a watch if you are / were a fan of Ghostface.
Special shout out to Tronn’s Formerly Fat Friend video this month.
Advice
Opportunities are not just reserved for when opportunities come to you, they can also be pursued and chased down by being proactive.
July has gone so fast. I feel like I didn’t really make the most of it. But I am super excited for August…
Loved this!